Posted by Tamar on November 9, 2005, at 17:54:12
In reply to Info? » Tamar, posted by muffled on November 8, 2005, at 22:05:22
Hi Muffled,
I put a trigger warning up there because I just realised that I’ve been posting all sorts of triggery stuff without realising the subject line had changed. I think I have some kind of mental block about subject lines. I will work on it…
> *How does a person know their resisting? How do you not resist. Y'know the word resist is one of those words that if you say it too manny times starts to seem really weird!!!!
I don’t know about others, but I’ve started to recognise I’m resisting when I find myself consistently distracted from particular subjects. I find myself going off at a tangent and focusing on something related but not the most important thing. For example, my resistance to returning to therapy: I know I really need to focus on why I’m afraid to go back (I’m afraid to talk about the therapeutic relationship with my therapist because I’m afraid of rejection). But when I try to think about it, I find myself focusing on slightly related things instead: I start daydreaming about talking to him in therapy, but in my daydreams I’m talking to him about other issues. And they’re important issues, but they’re not the thing I really need to talk about. If I imagined talking to him about the therapeutic relationship and the rejection thing I would have to face some things I really don’t want to face. It’s not a bad thing; I think resistance is there for a reason. We’re trying to protect ourselves. And it takes time to find the courage to begin to face the core issues. It also takes a lot of trust. So we resist, we skirt around the edges of something and eventually it should become possible to begin to deal with it, maybe a little bit at a time. Well, that’s my theory anyway.
> *whoah, you my clone! Thats me exactly.My T. said the same. Supersensitive maybe. I had a perfect childhood I'm sure. At least thats what I tell myself. can't remember.
Having a clone would be very cool. Do you wanna go to a meeting for me next week? Or – even better – maybe you could talk to my T about the therapeutic relationship! Now there’s an idea I like…
About the sensitivity thing… how do you feel about that? I feel a bit embarrassed, like I couldn’t handle what everyone else could handle because I was weak or something. I’m trying to learn to think of it as just a normal part of the variety of human experience, but I sometimes struggle to be kind to myself about it…
> *I have a bit of a thing about sex but I haven't looked at it yet. I have a wonderful husband, but i'd just as sonn, rather really, just do my own thing as it were. Sex is too intimate I think.
What an interesting way to put it! ‘Sex is too intimate.’ That makes a lot of sense to me.
> *Wow. That sounds really hard. Especially when you know your perhaps being illogical, but can't help feeling that way despite yourself. I do that alot.
Yeah, exactly. I hate knowing I’m being illogical, but I can’t seem to do anything about it even though I don’t want to be. I guess feelings aren’t always logical…
> *That sounds good. Where do the bad feelings go? Do they just go away?
When my husband comforts me I find the bad feelings subside slowly. They don’t suddenly disappear. But after a little while they seem to evaporate gradually and I start to feel a bit more secure again.
> *I'm very fortunate I don't get violent to other people. Just to myself. As a teen I was a punk and trashed other peoples stuff and slashed tires etc. I guess thats how I got the violence out.Well, I’m not in the habit of starting brawls in bars or anything. But sometimes when I feel really overwhelmed with rage I have an extremely strong urge to lash out. I was worried for a while that I might hurt the people close to me… so SI seemed like a better option. I used to feel that way towards my father when I was a teenager: I wanted to punch him… but in fact he ended up punching me instead. Fortunately we get on very well now…
> *Thanks again Tamar. Weird how similar some of our stuff is. that makes me feel better too.
Yeah, it’s funny, eh? It makes me feel better as well to hear experiences similar to my own.
Take care,
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:576216
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/577191.html