Posted by allisonross on November 8, 2005, at 12:32:10
In reply to Re:Tamar: Bending Boundaries/or: Abusing Mysel » allisonross, posted by Susan47 on November 4, 2005, at 20:22:51
> You said this "....i told my t that it was never a sexual thing for me (apparently it was for him);...."
It wasn't.
> but you couldn't say that today, could you?
yes, I could. A hug is just that to me. A hug, just like when I hug anybody.
What made the difference between then and now?
No difference. i was in love back then.
And were you even telling him the truth, Ally?
It was the truth. I am always authentic with him. if i don't want to answer, I don't lie, I just tell him I don't want to answer.
I wonder if you were, and if you weren honest with you, because it doesn't sound like your attraction to him is all that recent.
It isn't----2 years.
. you seem to be quite happy playing around with your attraction to him and not getting down to the business you know is at hand.
There isn't any business at hand, other than it is good to have him, since I am alone now for the 1st time in 31 years, and he realizes I basically still come to socialize, but just like he says; even if I am not talking about the issue (divorce, lonliness), I am still....in a sense...talking about it. He is right on there.. I went to him because my church was going to kick me out of membership, and he is an expert in spiritual abuse.
So I'm wondering what this therapist is doing saying looking and hinting at that's keeping you stuck.
I don't feel stuck. I can walk away, I just choose not to. He is the pleasure in my .life right now.
And I'm wondering why he's doing it. And I'm thinking, Ally, you're not the only one. He has other women he does this with, maybe not right now, maybe not always, but you're not the first or the last either. Be careful Ally, you're going to learn, as I did, that you're playing with a shark. And you're a little old angelfish,
well, people call me a "fairy-child"
well at least I was ... I remember when I used to try to dress the shark up in angel stripes. It didn't work, because he just kept proving that what mattered was him. Which is okay, because he's human and I can't fault him for that.
> He just didn't know I was smart. Hell, I didn't know I was smart, why would he know?I get what is going on, and realize it isn't good for me. It is painful, but i would rather be WITH him in the pain, that alone with it. We discuss it.
poster:allisonross
thread:571768
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/576735.html