Posted by Tamar on November 8, 2005, at 4:07:55
In reply to Its the chewing of my guts...endless » Tamar, posted by muffled on November 7, 2005, at 22:27:40
> > Was that the stuff about Dr Bob’s links to Nietzsche?
>
> *Yes. It really freaked me. Then Dr.Bob wouldn't answer and I thot it must mean it was true that he thot that the stuff that was bothering me was good. He never did reply ever? Still feel a little bad bout that.Nietzsche really is freaky in places! But his writing is quite respected among academics, philosophers etc. All that stuff he wrote in Antichrist for example (the bit that I think freaked you out the most) is asking some really difficult questions. And Nietzsche says himself in the preface to Antichrist that in order to understand him, people have to become indifferent and to have courage for the forbidden. Well, Antichrist is pretty forbidden stuff! I’m not sure that I have the courage for the forbidden that Nietzsche says is a requirement for understanding his work, so I guess that’s why I find it a bit freaky too. I think there’s nothing wrong in refusing to understand Nietzsche! (But I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with people who *do* want to understand his work; they’ve taken a step that I’m not sure I want to take, but not everyone has to be like me!)
About Dr Bob not answering your posts about it… I think there’s a lot of stuff he doesn’t answer. In a way he’s like an authority here, because he runs the site, but at the same time I get the impression that he prefers us to interact with each other, without him getting involved. So the fact that there was a discussion about Nietzsche probably meant that he decided the discussion didn’t need his voice. Well, that’s just my take on it… I also think that the link to Nietzsche’s work doesn’t necessarily mean that Dr Bob agrees with every word of it. People who work in universities can often be quite detached from what they read; considering ideas just as ideas without having a personal investment in them. So maybe it’s not a case of thinking Nietzsche is good or bad, but simply that his ideas are interesting. Which I suppose they are, once you get past the initial strangeness of it. But I still don’t *like* Nietzsche much…
> *Part of the problem is that I have very few memories of youngsterhood. Almost none. But this damn thing eating away at the inside of me....I reckon that not having memories can sometimes be as distressing as having bad memories… it’s like you know there’s something there and if you could just remember what it is you might at least be able to understand it. It’s very frustrating. And you wonder what the memories might be if you had them… It’s hard to deal with having no memories.
> *SO glad you not in prison, I would die there.
> *Yes. SI is not the end of the world. Its a very important survival tool. My T. understands that. But I goto find a better way, I'm trying w/my T, but I'm not good at talking. I got too many scars. I hate lying to my kids about them.(((((Muffled))))) It takes time to get used to talking. It’s not easy at all. But for me it does seem to help with the SI thing.
> > I guess the aim is to get to a place where we feel SI is no longer necessary.
>
> *Thats what I want, but I can't seem to get there. I start to go so crazy. I wanto see it thru this time. I am tired of this quasi-life. I'm proly wrecking my kids somehow without realizing it. Maybe I'm better to just go for it and if I end up in hospital maybe I'll be out soon and it'll be ok? Oh but my kids...my kids, I love them and they depend on me so.You’re being rather hard on yourself! I am sure you’re not wrecking your kids. What they need most of all is your love, and you do love them. But I also *don’t* think you’re better just to go for it and risk ending up in hospital. Please do keep trying to talk… either to your T or here at Babble.
> Ijust don't know. I'm so tired of the endless chewing. I'm a dry alcoholic(10+ years). I wonder if the alcohol stopped the chewing? Don't remember. Didn't know then, what I do now. I will NOT drink, cuz then I may as well be dead cuz I'd lose my kids. So I have to find a better way.
You’re doing really well! Ten years without a drink is an excellent achievement. It must have been really hard to stop, and I’m sure you don’t want to go through it all again. I don’t know if alcohol would have stopped the chewing… you might still have been chewing but you would have been less aware of it. Do you do any relaxation techniques? That might help with the chewing. It’s hard to settle down to try relaxing, but it can help.
> Not until Thursday. 10 days from last appt. She had something on this Tues. which is my normal day. Last week I went with my husband so I didn't say much either then. Been a long time. I'm trying to hate her, but shes actually very nice.
Counting down till Thursday then. Just take it an hour at a time. I’m glad your T is nice.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:576216
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/576644.html