Posted by alexandra_k on November 2, 2005, at 23:09:01
In reply to Re: Sliding Downward (trigger) » alexandra_k, posted by Poet on November 2, 2005, at 21:20:22
> Hi Alex,
Hey.
> I've never been certain that ADs really help me much. Ex pdoc just kept upping the dose. Dr. Clueless is more concerned with my sensitivity issues than the meds management I started seeing her for when ex poc went out of insurance coverage.Yeah. It can be hard sometimes to see whether they are helping or not... Sometimes it isn't about upping the dosage, it is about changing the type of AD. I don't know... But I would say it might be worth a shot. I mean... If it helps you feel a bit better then it would definately be worth it...
> T thinks I should see my regular doctor, but I don't think she has enough understanding of mental health issues. I don't fit in a neat little category, which I suppose is one good thing about Dr. Clueless- she's the one who noticed it.Yeah. Though I have to say... I've never met anybody who did fit in a neat little category ;-) Those neat little categories are just gross simplifications so our clinicians are better able to remember 'us'.
> I don't know why I get knocked back for jobs. I've met with career counselors and practiced interviewing. A friend thinks that I come off as too intelligent. T thinks that my anxiety is noticeable.
Hmm. I always thought... That it was good to appear a little anxious in interviews. Because... That is showing them that you are taking the interview seriously (which probably indicates that you really really want the job). And anxiety tends to be correlated with higher performance. But... I'm not sure. That might be a cultural difference (I'm serious here).
> My husband does love me- I don't understand why. I wasn't this crazy when he first met me, I suppose if I was he would have split long ago.I guess you are having trouble seeing the you that he sees...
> I guess I didn't choose to be sad,No, I don't think anybody chooses to be sad...
>I know it's chemical and situational,
Yeah. And they amount to fairly much the same thing because your situation affects you via chemical processes in your brain...
>but I can't help thinking that it's my fault.
Yeah. I struggle with that thought too...
> The bad chemicals are in my brain. The bad thoughts are in my brain.
Yeah... But you didn't choose your brain either. If you could have chosen your brain then wouldn't you choose one that would have you thinking happy thoughts? I think you would... You don't choose your brain...
You don't choose the thoughts that appear in your consciousness...
But you have some degree of control over your attention and whether you choose to ruminate on those thoughts or not...(Though your brain can make that damned hard at times)
But then... I really do believe all that (about myself) and yet... I still moan about being defective and about that being my fault... So... I do understand those bad feelings.
> Thanks for your help. I need it.I really hope things get better for you soon.
Must be really hard with your husband...
I faked it for a while and in the end... I got depressed. Maybe the faking it is contributing to that?Sounds like you should keep applying for those jobs... I know knock-backs are hard... But sometimes it just does take some time.
((poet))
poster:alexandra_k
thread:573891
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/574770.html