Posted by Tamar on October 26, 2005, at 7:04:07
In reply to Re: What's the difference between..., posted by daisym on October 25, 2005, at 23:34:30
> I think it might depend on where and when you do the thinking. But your question seems based on the false assumption that you can (or should or shouldn't) choose to think about sad things or not. Isn't distraction one way to tolerate pain?
Good point. I guess I worry that I use distraction too much… Maybe there isn’t really a ‘too much’…
> Sometimes I find myself sitting, and realize that I've lost an hour or so to memories or daydreams or thoughts. I come out of it but typically I keep hurting, the feelings stay with me, even if I go "do" something else.
Yes, I often find I do the same thing. I seem to go around in circles with the same memories or daydreams or thoughts… they keep coming back day after day and week after week. But it’s not really the pain that I’m thinking about when I’m doing that. It’s more that I’m thinking about things that are tangentially related to the pain, but aren’t the pain itself. And if I do feel the pain itself I tend to believe it’s mostly self-pity. The only times I really believe that the pain is genuine are the times when I want to harm myself.
So I wonder if I’m doing something wrong. And I’m also not getting enough work done! But somehow I can’t motivate myself to work when I’m in that space in my head…
> So, I didn't answer the question -- but maybe the real question is "Is it OK to feel bad about the same stuff over and over again?" I think of James Kirk in Star Trek V -- "I want my pain. I need my pain. My pain is part of who I am..." Maybe there is a lot of truth to this?
Yeah! (I love Star Trek, though I never quite got into Voyager, or the newest series with whatshisname from Quantum Leap…) Yes, I guess it’s inevitable that we feel bad about the same stuff over and over.
> I still wish you didn't have any. :(
> Hugs from me,
> DaisyThanks Daisy. Hugs to you too.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:571839
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/572006.html