Posted by Tamar on October 26, 2005, at 5:21:12
In reply to Re: Does regression mean you haven't worked out fully? » Tamar, posted by orchid on October 25, 2005, at 20:12:05
Hi Orchid,
> Perhaps the reason why I still find it hard to not feel ashamed is the way my termination went.
Yes, I’m sure you’re right. It was very wrong of him to terminate you like that.
> Maybe the reason why you find it little easier and not feel rejected is because you never told your T about your feelings.
The funny thing is, I felt rejected for months despite never having given him the opportunity to reject me. It must be projection… But of course the termination part went well and it’s been getting easier recently partly because of that.
> Whereas I did tell him, and initially he was quite ok with it, but towards the end, he started getting irritated I think. So, during termination he was extremely abrupt and somewhat cold. And he didn't give me any reassurance or show any warmth or understanding. And he stopped all communication abruptly. So it led to even more feelings of shame and embarrasment and feeling untouchable and kind of like "you are not worth it" feeling.Yes, I’m sure. It’s natural to feel that his coldness and irritation and abrupt termination were his response to your feelings, even though he was leaving his practice and had professional reasons for the termination… though he certainly didn’t handle it in the best way. (((((Orchid)))))
> Perhaps that is why it takes so long to heal. But you are right, it is much much better these days. I try to push it out of my mind and not let it bother me. And mostly I have made my peace also and am trying to find my own self worth. Plus things have been really better with my husband, so that is helping quite a bit.
I’m really glad things are better with your husband. I can imagine that it helps.Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:571410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/571991.html