Posted by gardenergirl on October 21, 2005, at 23:23:34
In reply to Re: Well, apparently I have poor tolerance » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on October 21, 2005, at 22:36:03
> I remember that in DBT skills training group we were given handouts of lists of things we could do to distract ourselves from negative emotions. I think we had lists of things we could do to self-soothe too. You might be able to find a link to the handouts online.
Here is a site where you can find DBT handouts and lessons based on Linehan's program. It's a self help site.
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_handouts.htmlActually, I've been thinking of asking the group if anyone wanted to work through the lessons together? I've used some, but I would be much better at 'splaining them and modelling them if (I think terrics said) I could work through them myself, too.
I also think that there are wide range of coping mechanisms, and almost of any of them are effective in some way at some times and not others. I think the "good" or "bad" aspect of using a coping mechanism is how effective is it?Does it cause harm? Do you use one to the exclusion of others or rigidly? That's how I tend to look at how people cope.
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> >My mind just seems to make the less productive choices without my control.This is where Linehan would say that you need to practice these skills when you DON'T need them in order to be able to call on them when you do. Kind of like learning to drive first in a empty parking lot, then a quiet neighborhood street, then a busier street, etc. on up to LA freeways. (I'm never going to get that good at driving, but you get the point.) :)
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> >I seem to remember some textbook or something that had the types of coping mechanisms and their maturity level. I thought distraction was thought of as in the more mature level along with humor and whatever else.I think Alex made a good distinction about how distraction can be helpful, but not if it's the only one you use for a long term or recurring problem.
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> Sublimation? I think thats how work is supposed to come into it (ideally)...yep
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> >I'm just not sure why that's supposed to be morally superior. Or even more helpful.Hmmm, maybe it's the morally superior aspect of it that's part of the conflict? I suppose I don't someone's coping repertoire so much from a moral standpoint or even a superior or inferior. I tend to look to see if they are effective in what they do, and that they do have some variety and flexibility. Heck, I drink a glass of wine to soothe myself at times. Some might frown on that.
>I think it's great that you are thinking about this issue and trying with a new T. That in and of itself is flexible coping, because you could just be trying to distract yourself from not being able to see T1. And you could be willfully (Linehan's word) digging in your heals and trying everything under the sun to get in to see T1 on a regular basis. But instead, you are willingly (Linehan) accepting your situation, and making effective attempts to get your needs met.
That's all good. And huge progress from what I remember from when I first starting posting here.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:570037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/570248.html