Posted by alexandra_k on October 20, 2005, at 16:15:55
In reply to Re: Worst Ever (trigger) » cricket, posted by alexandra_k on October 20, 2005, at 15:56:03
> >I say I know you don't like so and so and he says I have no problem with them you have a problem with yourself.
> >So everything is back on me. And even if it's true that it is all me. He doesn't help me figure out what to do.Sounds to me like you had a lot of pretty sh*tty things happen in your life when you were a kid. That your feelings were discounted and you were shamed or blamed for having those feelings. But those feelings were understandable responses from a sensitive person like you are. And by other people discounting them you started to doubt them. And blame yourself for having them. And came to believe that there was something wrong with you for having them. And so your environment encouraged you to sacrifice and supress part of your legitimate responses so you would behave how they wanted you to behave.
And instead of showing you that those feelings and responses are understandable and legitimate responses from a sensitive individual toward such an uncaring invalidating and devaluing environment...
He perpeptuates the cycle...
And / or he allows you to.It isn't your fault Cricket.
This isn't something you did to yourself.
It may well be something you have come to do...
But it is a learned behaviour.
Your environment modelled it for you
And he is continuing to...I don't see how that helps.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:569304
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/569386.html