Posted by alexandra_k on October 20, 2005, at 15:56:03
In reply to Re: Worst Ever (trigger) » alexandra_k, posted by cricket on October 20, 2005, at 15:42:08
> I wonder if that is what is happening to my confidence.
I think it would indeed be an understandable response to much of what he says to you, and much of his behaviour in response to you. If he said those things to me... I would feel very hurt and confused indeed. And the reason why I would feel hurt and confused is because I would figure that he must know what he is talking about because he is the expert. And so I would take what he has to say very seriously and engage in some very serious soul searching...
And I think that it would play on my fears...
And hurt me...
And... I don't see how that helps. I don't see how that helps at all.>I say I know you don't like so and so and he says I have no problem with them you have a problem with yourself.
>So everything is back on me. And even if it's true that it is all me. He doesn't help me figure out what to do.
And even if that is the truth it is not said in a palatable way. And that is precisely because it doesn't help you figure out what to do about it, as you note.
A caring manner... Goes along way.
But its something that he doesn't seem to have figured out.
His stuff.
But it seems to harm you more than help...
Because he could have....
I mean it is fairly clear that you don't like them so much. That is precisely why they are experienced as 'other' rather than as 'me'.
A little sympathy can go a long way...
Sounds like that is something he needs to learn.
But thats his stuff. You don't pay him to try and help him better himself. I'm so very sure that you could do so very much better for yourself
poster:alexandra_k
thread:569304
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/569381.html