Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2005, at 11:21:25
In reply to Confused by therapy session, posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 20:56:48
Sorry you’re hurting.
I agree with you: eight weeks isn’t enough time to feel better about it. But I wonder whether your therapist was being a little challenging, rather than saying you should be over it already.
I think it’s an interesting question: what would make it better so that you can move on? Perhaps after a few weeks of therapy you have a few thoughts about particular ways it’s affected you: things you might want to work on in a specific way. But perhaps you need more time to explore all your feelings about the events of your childhood.
Either way, I think a useful question might be whether you feel that talking about it is helping. And if it’s helping, how is it helping? And are there ways to make it help more? I don’t know whether you feel you can answer questions like that on your own or whether you need input from your therapist.
I can understand that you felt that the description of your father as a mentally sick man was like an excuse for his behaviour. I would probably have heard it like that too. But I’m not so sure your therapist really meant that you should just get over it. Perhaps he was inviting you to see things from a new perspective… and maybe it’s not one that you feel is helpful right now, but sometimes looking at things from a variety of perspectives can be a helpful way of processing feelings.
Perhaps telling you his story was supposed to be reassuring: one day you will be able to handle your feelings about your childhood with less anger and less pain. But I can understand that you might feel under pressure hearing his story if you don’t feel you can imagine being in his position – yet. Is there any way you can think of his story as a story of hope, to give you a sense that all this therapy is worthwhile and eventually you will come to a similar point with your own story?
I think it might be a good idea to call your therapist, because if sounds as if you are quite distressed about this. And with good reason!
I hope you’re feeling better soon.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:566604
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051008/msgs/566807.html