Posted by muffled on September 17, 2005, at 9:31:00
In reply to alone..scared..angry - Long, posted by JLynn on September 16, 2005, at 20:16:16
> After my T came back from vacation I had one session (Sept. 1st) and then she had a family emergency and cancelled my next 2 appointments. She was expected back next week, but today I found out she won't be back until October. The emergency was her son has a broke leg. Thats all I know so I'm not sure why she is out so long, but anyways....I'm really just so scared. I feel like I have no one. I'm not angry at her....more that I'm angry that I have such bad luck. Gosh its such a long time until I can talk to her. Sometimes I wonder if Ts know how much little things could help us. Like if she could just call and see if everything is okay or I know you can do it. I mean just a little concern and encouragement can go such a loooonnggg way!
Man are you ever right! I'm working on getting my T. to phone me back when I try to contact her. She's not very good at it. However yesterday she phoned 3x! It made me feel like maybe she cared some. I guess I shouldv'e just been more clear from the start about how I felt about that. I hinted, but she's not a mind reader.
Maybe I expect or need too much. I don't handle things well on my own. And while I really can't wait until she gets back there is also a part of me that wants to cancel the rest of my appointments and not go back and say hey I've made it this long without you I don't need you. I hate all these mixed up feelings. I do have the option to see someone else while she is gone (if they could get me in), but I can't imagine doing that.Next time you see your T. TELL her. They need to know this stuff. I'm just learning this lesson myself right now.
>
> I'm doing really bad right now and I need to talk to her about something. I'm really afraid to though. The thing is I'm just really short tempered right now and I'm yelling at my kid a lot...and spanking too much. I'm so ashamed to even admit it. And scared that if I tell her she might report me to social services or something. I feel like such a bad mom. I see this precious little girl sleeping right now and I don't know how I let myself get so angry and direct it towards her. Getting so angry scares me. I don't know what to do.Scares me. Anger is a VERY powerful emotion. Having a 2 yr. old is enough to drive the most sane person nuts! You love them so much, but they can be SO demanding. Most mothers struggle with this. Its doubly hard when you don't have much help.
You need support of some kind. If you think your getting to angry with your child, you are. Oh man, I will never, ever get over the guilt of when I went thru a bad patch with the kids. I didn't beat them, but I would get so angry. I would scare them. It was AWFUL. At the time I was so wrapped up I couldn't see it clearly. I knew I wasn't doing well, but it was so hard. And I HAD support.
So please, DO get help if you think you need it.
Anger is scarey. It should be.
Do it, even if its really hard.
Do it for your little sweetie.
Muffled.
poster:muffled
thread:555811
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/555959.html