Posted by JLynn on September 16, 2005, at 20:16:16
After my T came back from vacation I had one session (Sept. 1st) and then she had a family emergency and cancelled my next 2 appointments. She was expected back next week, but today I found out she won't be back until October. The emergency was her son has a broke leg. Thats all I know so I'm not sure why she is out so long, but anyways....I'm really just so scared. I feel like I have no one. I'm not angry at her....more that I'm angry that I have such bad luck. Gosh its such a long time until I can talk to her. Sometimes I wonder if Ts know how much little things could help us. Like if she could just call and see if everything is okay or I know you can do it. I mean just a little concern and encouragement can go such a loooonnggg way! Maybe I expect or need too much. I don't handle things well on my own. And while I really can't wait until she gets back there is also a part of me that wants to cancel the rest of my appointments and not go back and say hey I've made it this long without you I don't need you. I hate all these mixed up feelings. I do have the option to see someone else while she is gone (if they could get me in), but I can't imagine doing that.
I'm doing really bad right now and I need to talk to her about something. I'm really afraid to though. The thing is I'm just really short tempered right now and I'm yelling at my kid a lot...and spanking too much. I'm so ashamed to even admit it. And scared that if I tell her she might report me to social services or something. I feel like such a bad mom. I see this precious little girl sleeping right now and I don't know how I let myself get so angry and direct it towards her. Getting so angry scares me. I don't know what to do.
poster:JLynn
thread:555811
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/555811.html