Posted by Shortelise on September 13, 2005, at 2:11:53
In reply to Appointment on Monday?, posted by Shortelise on September 11, 2005, at 1:17:56
I went and it went well, but tonight I want to curl up and suck my thumb. I feel so ... like, I am grown up, and I don't want to be.
One of the tempting things about madness is the letting go. It's like suicide without death. I keep having really self-destructive feelings, not strong enough to act on but strong enough to wonder about. And I don't talk to my T about them, I haven't talked to him, because ... I don't know why they're so strong - am I seeking attention? So I hesitate to talk about it, I forget to. Am I setting the bar too high for myself and because of that, failing myself in some way? I suppose I am able to figure these things out for myself, but I feel like ... I want to let go, just let go.
It's late and I need to sleep. That will help.
THanks, and sorry for the angst.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:553558
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554526.html