Posted by Racer on September 12, 2005, at 1:21:39
In reply to Re: Hey muffled! » crazy teresa, posted by muffled on September 12, 2005, at 0:01:14
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> I just don't like hurting anyone. I hate to cause pain. Noone likes pain. I don't want to be a source of more pain. I'm trying to be good. I used to be bad and thats what I'm used to, but Iwant to be good. I guess I'm not responsible for other peoples feelings sometimes, but I feel like I am if I've done or said something stupid that has caused them pain. Then I shouldn't have done it.I guess there are situations in which one actually is responsible for someone else's pain -- many things my aunt has said to me come to mind -- but I doubt that the things you're thinking of are included.
If you say, "Boy, Girlfriend, you really are fat and it's really unattractive. You shouldn't leave the house looking that ugly!" That's somethng that puts you into a place where you've caused pain and are responsible for it.
If, on the other hand, you say something more like, "That was a really hurtful sort of a thing to say. Why do you say things like that to someone?" That isn't in the same sort of arena. Ditto the "I'm feeling kinda abandoned by you."
Does that make sense? Gratuitiously saying something insulting, especially if prefaced by the words, "I'm telling you this for your own good," is one thing. But if you're talking about those things that come out without malice aforethought, or if you say something that really is well-meant, that's different.
And I don't know what you mean by saying you used to be "bad" and want to be "good" now. Can you elaborate?
For what it's worth, at 19 I was young, pretty, and thought I was Special. I was probably Not Nice to a lot of people. That sort of thing is usually something one grows out of...
I hope that helps.
poster:Racer
thread:553527
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050901/msgs/554063.html