Posted by fallsfall on August 23, 2005, at 9:15:34
In reply to Confusing meltdown, posted by daisym on August 23, 2005, at 1:24:03
Don't force yourself. That's what my first therapist did - she forced reduction in the number of sessions in order to "show" me that I could handle it on my own. But it really just made it worse. It wasn't until I was allowed to see my therapist as much as I wanted to that the intense dependency abated. As long as I wanted more, my whole energy was focused on surviving not having more - and that left me no energy to work on the original issues in my life.
I think that I do need my therapist less now that I see him more. I haven't called him between sessions in a long time. I still sometimes obsess about him (i.e. I made a jigsaw puzzle of a piece of paper with 16 pictures of his face, and sometimes I want to do that puzzle). I think about him. But I don't panic, because I know that he is there as much as I need him.
I could *feel* the change when I went from 2/week to 3/week. At 2/week I had to choose carefully what to talk about, and rush through things so I could get to everything. In a harder week, I would agonize over asking if I could have another session (and usually not ask). My focus was on missing him instead of working on my issues. When we went to 3/week, it just felt calmer. Like I had enough time. I compare it to how I felt when my 3rd child was born - 2 kids wasn't enough, but 3 really was - it was so clear.
You are doing to yourself what my first therapist did to me. You are making "rules" about how much you should see him. And those rules are too stingy. Give yourself permission to see him more. Recognize that it is something that you need right now. And then don't reduce sessions until you have felt for a full month that you are wasting his and your time by seeing him so much. Allow yourself to have what you need.
You have made a lot of progress recently. Let yourself keep making progress. Don't stand in your way.
(((Daisy)))
poster:fallsfall
thread:545517
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/545604.html