Posted by Tamar on August 6, 2005, at 8:06:47
In reply to Re: Lott: Q on getting attracted to older, wiser men, posted by Jakeman on August 6, 2005, at 1:15:20
> Ok to clarify a bit. Perhaps the soft male is the guy who is overly concerned about what he is expected to be, rather just being who he is. Often he has a lack of energy, decisiveness, holding to an ideal of politically correct sameness with females. I played that part for many years until I discovered I wasn't being me.
Fair enough. I don’t think I know any men who could be described that way, but of course I don’t know all the men in the world! I’m not sure that the idea of the similarity between men and women is politically correct. It’s just a theory and people tend to respond to it on the basis of their own experience. Either way, I can imagine that you need to be who you are.
> The sexual polarity, the ying and yang, does exist, in a very real and primal way. It exists I'm told in homosexual couples as well. One can argue that differences between men and women are learned. I don't know but I doubt that. Or some of it.
Certainly many people say they experience a male/female polarity. Whether it’s learned or whether it’s innate is hard to prove. I haven’t experienced the sense that men and women are fundamentally different, so I suppose that’s why I’m inclined to think that most of the differences are learned (and perhaps I didn’t learn them very well). But there may be aspects of both biology and environment involved, and it’s hard to be sure how they interact.
> Sometimes the body is wiser than the mind and the ego. There's nothing wrong with being asexual, at the same time there's nothing wrong with letting your masculinity or femininity be fully expressed, and it fact celebrated.
Indeed; there’s nothing wrong with expressions of masculinity or femininity as long as people aren’t using them to oppress other people.
> (some day I'm going to learn the tango ;-)
Sounds like fun!
> why am i the only man writing on this board?
There are some other men here. They don’t write here as often as the women, but they’re here from time to time…
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:535438
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/538232.html