Posted by Susan47 on July 25, 2005, at 22:07:05
In reply to Re: Transference? » Susan47, posted by fairywings on July 24, 2005, at 14:32:03
Thanks. I think I'm just really messed up. Plus I just have to accept that this therapist said good-bye, ciao, adios, whatever ... I need to let go, completely. Letting go feels like falling off a cliff though, and I don't know why. It's why I still have a few fingers grabbing on ... I just am so frightened. It feels like this therapist forgets about me, if I am forgotten, I feel like I might wither and die. It's a very strong feeling. Maybe that's transference? I don't know. I think I'm an idiot. I know I really must be. This is really stupid, to feel this way about a virtual stranger. There was a time I didn't feel like he was, though. There was a time when I really felt close to him, which is crazy, it's nuts really. I wish I'd never met this therapist. But then if I hadn't I might not have had the courage to step out and change my life, which needed changing. I wish he hadn't kicked me off the cliff. Now he's just stepping on my fingers ... that's how it feels. He wants me to fall. Maybe if I do, it won't be so bad? I just wish I knew there was someone else there, that I could fly with again. Sigh. This is so heavy, it's so sad and so much to bear.
poster:Susan47
thread:532118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/533508.html