Posted by Dinah on July 11, 2005, at 19:20:05
In reply to Worst I’ve felt in months, posted by Tamar on July 11, 2005, at 18:39:19
Oh, I wish I could say something that would lift your spirits the way you have lifted mine so many times since we met.
Have you broken the problem down into as small pieces as possible? Looking at the big picture never fails to depress me. But small pieces seem manageable.
My son's therapist told my husband (and my son) to narrow his focus. That he has a tendency to layer one what-if on top of another until he has convinced himself that something several steps ahead of where he is is inevitable. She said to start thinking in terms of a mistake being exactly that. One mistake. And not to build thoughts based on "always" or "never" on it, or think of worst case scenarios.
I'm trying really hard not to put too much emphasis on my work, or even my continued employment, in deciding who I am and what I'm worth. It's soooo hard for me, because I am not used to failure. It's hard for me to see a failure as an event, not as an indictment of me as a person. It's funny, because I judge others by many many criteria, not by one failure. But I can't seem to do that for myself.
I know these things work differently in different circumstances, but would it be possible to see your therapist again? Maybe you just need a tune-up, a reminder of how to apply the techniques and ways of thinking that he's taught you. Or maybe you need a bit more time to let those things sink in. Would your therapist be available? (Or one equally skilled but less attractive maybe? - grin)
The limitations of the internet... I'd like to see that you wrap yourself in comfort if that's what you need. I found holding a sleepy child to be one of life's most comforting experiences. Or warm scented baths with a nice, non-enriching, book. It's a bit warm to snuggle under a comforter, and a sheet just doesn't have the same comfort level, but can you create a pillow haven and burrow deep into them?
Tamar, you are a wonderful, intelligent, caring, and amazingly intuitive person. Your employers probably see that, and wouldn't let you go. But if they don't, it doesn't change that basic fact. No matter what happens at work, you are still the person I see and admire so much on the boards.
poster:Dinah
thread:526327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/526345.html