Posted by Daisym on July 11, 2005, at 15:29:55
In reply to [trigger?] T back from vacation, rough session :(, posted by GreySkyEyes on July 11, 2005, at 14:46:46
I don't know what state you live in, but in California this would not have to be reported as you describe it. (I'm a mandated child-abuse reporter and I train home visitors so I think I'm pretty up on this stuff.) Beyond that, most of us as parents have felt what you felt about our toddlers. Slapping a child is not the way to handle your frustration but it is also easily understandable. I think you are doing everything you should be doing to help you learn how to handle your anger, including working with your therapist. Even if a report gets made, the first recommendation is usually parenting classes and/or therapy.
As far as telling your husband, I think you might want to consider it even if you aren't reported. It might be bathing your child that triggered you, or the mixture of fear and frustration that bathing a slippery child can bring on. Classic safety response of a parent is to shake and then hug and then shake a child that was minutes before in danger. By telling your husband you share the responsibility of keeping your child safe and you can talk about appropriate discipline. I might say, "you know, I can't believe I did this, but the other day little johnny pushed all my buttons and I just reacted and smacked him. I felt so bad, even thought I didn't hurt him. It made me think that we need to talk about how to set boundaries for him now that he is getting older. I know lots of parents spank, but I hope we can figure something else out that works for us." You aren't a monster, really. But you need support for yourself. Parenting is such hard work and nothing can make us more frustrated than our own kids.
It took a lot of courage to tell your therapist and to share it here. I'm sure you will find a way to talk it through with her. You've already done the hardest part.
Take care of yourself.
Daisy
poster:Daisym
thread:526232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/526255.html