Posted by Tamar on July 3, 2005, at 12:50:12
In reply to Interesting question about our hubbys and Ts wives, posted by pinkeye on June 28, 2005, at 20:00:46
> Anybody ever thinks what must our husbands would think when we go to therapy with a guy T? My husband was terribly uncomfortable with my continuing therapy with him.. And I can perfectly understand his position.. He knew I was getting attracted to my ex T and I think it put him in a horrible position.. But I somehow thought that it is for the ultimate good of our marriage that I am doign this anyway - that I needed to learn to bond correctly with a guy anyway, and I needed to learn it and grow up myself to be a good wife to my husband. But I cannot help feeling terribly guilty and afraid of my husband's reaction if he ever discovers.. But I really need to learn now, otherwise, I am afraid I am going to cheat on my husband one day in a big way - with an affair or something.. and I really needed to be able to bond emotionally with my husband.. and the only way to learn it seemed to be going through this with my ex T..
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> How do people feel about it?
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> And how do T's wives really feel about their participating so intensely in other women's lives? They must feel horrible right?? I would - if my husband was a T. No amount of justifiying would really put my mind at ease.I don’t think my husband was jealous exactly, but I know he was a little uncomfortable that I loved my therapist so much. However, I did explain why the transference thing was important to me, and that I didn’t love my therapist more than him.
I don’t know how therapists’ wives feel – it might depend how much they know about how therapy works.
But one thought that occurred to me was this: I wonder how a therapist might feel if his wife went into therapy with a male therapist. I imagine he might feel a little worried that she’d fall in love with this other therapist and criticise her husband for not being as understanding at home. And therapists know how therapy can make people think carefully about their close relationships; that could be worrying. I reckon if I were a male therapist and my wife wanted or needed to go into therapy I’d try to convince her to see a female therapist!
poster:Tamar
thread:520771
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/522936.html