Posted by pinkeye on June 30, 2005, at 18:04:42
In reply to Are my father and my ex T worth this importance?, posted by pinkeye on June 30, 2005, at 16:14:23
Isn't it really really stupid to try to live up to what your father wants? And try to form an intense relationship with him?? Actually I think I am not the one who tries - more that he wouldn't let me go.. And I just somehow kind of always merged with him and took on his own expectations in life for myself..
He is not really that great - he doesn't know much, he is very pessimistic, he swings between extremes, he doubts everything, he thinks he knows the most, he didn't treat my mother or me well, he isn't remotely sensible or mature. And why am I trying to please him or listen to him ?? Doesn't make sense at all.
And my ex T - he is probably much better than my dad.. Still, why should I try to bend over backwards to keep a relationship with him?? Why should I let him mean so much to me? Just because he helped me?? Why should I go through so much of a mental torture for a person who doesn't have time to even write a two line email?? Really I am thinking why should I even bother? Maybe he helped me, and I am grateful, but does that mean I should torture myself everyday about him? Why am I giving him this power to destroy me and my happiness? So what if he is a really good guy? So is my husband - and so are plenty of men that I meet everyday. I don't bend over backwards trying to torture myself if they don't like me or talk to me.
poster:pinkeye
thread:521616
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/521664.html