Re: When it works love, when it doesn't transference:) » pinkeye

Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 19:09:32

In reply to When it works love, when it doesn't transference:) » pinkeye, posted by pinkeye on June 23, 2005, at 18:57:46

> When two people fall head over heals in love with each other, without understanding each other that much, it is thought of as highly a good thing - "Love at first sight", "Made for Each Other" "Soul Mates" etc.
Does that really happen IRL???
How often???
I think that if it works out for them then it has more to do with luck than anything else...
How many of those types of relationships end in divorce?
How often does the intense happiness become transformed into intense disapoitment over time?
I guess in western society we are freer to make lifelong committments on the basis of those kinds of feelings because divorce is more accepted.
In cultures where you do not divorce companionship, trustworthiness, etc are valued more highly than that kind of feeling.
>When it doesn't work, it is called transference, "blind leap of faith", "sexual attraction" etc.
Yup.

> If you choose someone who resembles your father, and if it works out and makes you happy, then it is supposed to be a very great thing - that you had a solid role model. If you choose someone who resembles your father and if it doesn't work out - then it is branded as unresolved chidhood conflict, projecting, repeating the abuse..
Yeah. Maybe the crucial bit is 'resembles your father in what respects?' Maybe your father was a kind and loving man. If so then I don't think it would be pathological to seek out someone with those qualities. If it is more based on appearance then you are taking your chances, though...

> The ingredient in everything is the same.. but depending on the outcome, we either analyze it and lable it and try to recover from it, or we enjoy it.
Yeah.
Resemble your father in what respects???
You probably want to keep some of that...
Other aspects you might want to be more cautious of...

Thread

Getting Attracted/Falling in love - transference? pinkeye 6/23/05
When it works love, when it doesn't transference:) » pinkeye pinkeye 6/23/05
Re: Getting Attracted/Falling in love - transference? » pinkeye alexandra_k 6/23/05
The difference is only what works and what doesn't » alexandra_k pinkeye 6/23/05
Re: When it works love, when it doesn't transference:) » pinkeye alexandra_k 6/23/05
Re: The difference is only what works and what doesn't alexandra_k 6/23/05
That is all there is in life - if it works or not » alexandra_k pinkeye 6/23/05
Re: Getting Attracted/Falling in love - transference? antigua 6/24/05
P.S. antigua 6/24/05
Re: P.S. » antigua pinkeye 6/24/05

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