Posted by pinkeye on June 23, 2005, at 18:57:46
In reply to Getting Attracted/Falling in love - transference?, posted by pinkeye on June 23, 2005, at 18:46:44
When two people fall head over heals in love with each other, without understanding each other that much, it is thought of as highly a good thing - "Love at first sight", "Made for Each Other" "Soul Mates" etc. When it doesn't work, it is called transference, "blind leap of faith", "sexual attraction" etc.
If you choose someone who resembles your father, and if it works out and makes you happy, then it is supposed to be a very great thing - that you had a solid role model. If you choose someone who resembles your father and if it doesn't work out - then it is branded as unresolved chidhood conflict, projecting, repeating the abuse..
The ingredient in everything is the same.. but depending on the outcome, we either analyze it and lable it and try to recover from it, or we enjoy it.
I know a couple where both of them are like kids.. they call themselves as kids, and they play with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck toys, and collect Barbie dolls, and watch only cartoons - but people thought of them as ideal couple and made for each other. Nobody though they are in arrested development stage. In fact, I fell in love with that guy myself - he was my first love though he was married. Now I realize maybe I was myself just reacting to my childish aspects and seeing that in him made me like him.
poster:pinkeye
thread:517652
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/517659.html