Posted by jazzed on June 18, 2005, at 17:47:30
In reply to Re: Daisy, how are you today?, posted by Daisym on June 18, 2005, at 14:19:10
Daisy,
I'm so sorry that you're having such a bad time. This has been really difficult, and no, I don't think anyone is sorry they asked. You are so sweet and kind, and everyone wants you to feel better. Happy Anniversary, I wish it was better. Sorry your husband has chosen this time to "brood". Do what you think would be best for Daisy, and let others worry about themselves, but please keep yourself safe.
>But if I give this up, aren't I giving up hope of ever having the parents I needed?
Daisy, I can only speak for myself here. My dad was abusive. Not nearly what you went through, and I continued to love him because he was my dad. BUT, when he died, it was freeing. I hope that doesn't sound harsh or callous, but there were things I could then let go. It happened with my mom too because she never let me forget some terrible things in my life, and as much as I loved her and as painful as her death was, I knew I'd never have to face those painful issues again, or at least not have them thrown up in my face. I don't think it means you can't have the parents you wanted. Those can be created in your own mind. I've reinvented some aspects of my parents, and it doesn't always work, but I can continue to play it out in my head. I hope that helps and doesn't trivialize it.
> Most of us (meaning psychologists) can't stand the heat of the kitchen you are in and we get out." It gave me a lot to think about.
>
Did she mean most T's quit? Hmmmm. Well, I think your T is in it for the long haul, and you don't have to worry or protect him. I think he can handle it, he's "watching the store"."it is my turn to brood." I'll take that as a slap.
As well you should. This is not the day to have a bad mood. I hope he recovers and you can enjoy some of the day.>
> I just realized how morose all this is. Are you sorry you asked? I'll stop now. I do appreciate the support. You have no idea how much I need it.((((HUGS))))
Jazzy
poster:jazzed
thread:514967
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/515091.html