Posted by Shortelise on June 7, 2005, at 13:28:05
In reply to Re: Books as comfort » Tamar, posted by littleone on June 5, 2005, at 22:04:21
Littleone, five or so years ago in therapy, my therapist suggested that I could love myself, in fact said I should "give myself a hug".
It was as though he'd said I should dance with a cockroach. I reacted vehemently that I would not, could not do any such thing.
These days, lo and behold, I am finding that when I start on the awful self-loathing inner dialogue that I can stop myself, and say I love myself. Littleone, five years ago, it was the tritest, stupidest thing I'd ever heard, undo-able, unthinkable. Today, it saves me sometimes. I stop the tape, stop the destruction, with it.
It happened, oddly enough, when I watched "What the Bleep Do We Know". I know there is controversy about that film, but what struck me was Marlie Maitlan's character - the bout of self-loathing she goes through, and then how she draws hearts on herself. It was the right idea at the right time for me.
I pat myself on the arm, comfort myself with love for myself. I do for myself what I need, almost as if I was talking to someone else. I step out of the self-hatred role I fall into so easily, and tell myself I'm love myself.
You are so right that what works for one person may not work for another. We're all acutely aware of that, I think - those of us who are thinking, that is. However, sifting through the ideas I find here, trying this, and trying that, I have found thing that have been so useful. I care a lot, Littleone. Learning to be one's own support is one of the Big Lessons to be hoped for from therapy. I am grateful to that silly movie for affirming it for me at just the right moment in just the right way.
In the meantime, I hope you feel some support form us here. We're all big marble pillars, warm marble! Some of us are just a little more crumbly than others, sometimes.
Hugs
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:507765
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/509107.html