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Re: Other aspects of Chapter 2 » Dinah

Posted by Tamar on May 27, 2005, at 10:19:24

In reply to Other aspects of Chapter 2, posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 19:09:47

> The disproportionate importance of small things -

Oh yes. If he ever said anything that had any personal resonance at all, I remembered it – his exact words, his expression, his body language. I was even aware of a change in my tone of voice when I replied.

Actually, his body language was something I noticed a great deal. There was one session when I just didn’t know what to make of some of his body language and I spent hours trying to analyse it. And it was probably of negligible significance.

> Attachment and dependency -

It always surprises me when this comes up for me. Recently I was afraid he might leave his current job and work somewhere else – and this fear arose since I terminated! I just don’t want him to go away without telling me. Silly, perhaps, but probably inevitable.

> Therapist's Presence Brings Comfort -

Yes. Even imagining his presence brings comfort. Sometimes even now when stuff happens to trigger me I imagine reaching out my arm and taking hold of his hand. And I never held his hand in therapy; I just like to think of him as physically present.

> Child - Parent

I didn’t get much of this until right at the end, when we were talking about puberty and I suddenly felt like I was talking to a father figure. It took me completely by surprise, since I’d always had much more adult feelings for him!

> Alike and Different -

This was another surprise to me. I happen to know where he went to school, and I have a rough idea where he lives, so I compare those things to my own education and place of residence. And I compare his success in his job with my struggles. At first I was confused because I imagined it as feelings of competitiveness, and I’m not usually very competitive, but then I realised that actually I was comparing these things because I wanted to find things in common (so we could become friends and hang out in coffee shops…).

> Sory to go on for so long, and to make it so personal. But Chapter 2 resonates so much with me. And it is a very personal chapter for me. It normalizes so much of what I experience. I think that's the great power of this book.

Yeah, it resonated a lot with me too. I like that normalizing feeling!


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