Posted by gardenergirl on May 30, 2005, at 1:08:14
In reply to Other aspects of Chapter 2, posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 19:09:47
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> The disproportionate importance of small things -This is funny...I never think about how a change in my appearance or the office or whatever might be jarring to the client. And I generally do not notice changes in his office, although I don't know that anything has changed. But last session I asked him if his desk always looked that clean. And he said no and laughed. :) I'm not sure if I had much reaction to it, but now that I think about it, it didn't look like "his" desk anymore.
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> Attachment and dependency -This one resonated with me, too. I remember the moment I felt attached and dependent. I was shocked. I had that "oh no, not me. I won't get attached" feeling. I don't know why I thought I would be different. Arrogance, I guess. :)
Last session he said something that reinforced my attachment and made me feel good about it. (I still struggle with feeling weak or ashamed about being dependent at times.) He said "it's just you and me in this" referring to it not mattering what others' think. That felt so good to me. Just a simple comment....
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> Therapist's Presence Brings Comfort -I think this is true for the most part. But then again, I have some anxiety lately, too. And the first session after the blow up was not comforting at all. Yuck. But I know I have internalized him. I tend to imagine, like the woman who imagined her T in the back of the plane, I imagine my T is somewhere nearby watching me when I am out running errands and such. I felt so embarrassed at first, but now I just take comfort. And I recently heard his voice in my head--his soft and gentle voice which he uses when I am crying really hard. It was soothing to me to be able to bring that back on demand.
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> Child - ParentI'm sure there is some aspect of this present, but I think it's what I'm resisting right now. D'oh!
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> Alike and Different -Oh, I SO assume that my T shares traits with me. Some are evident...like being late, liking the same catalog for clothes, sharing the same orientation. But I tend to assume others, and he's never really said much to confirm or deny. I think I need him to be a mirror for me in order to feel good about myself. Or maybe I need to identify with him in order to feel safe? Hmmm.
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gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:491935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/505080.html