Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 14:48:22
In reply to Re: I am still in awe..babble is making me rethink » sunny10, posted by pinkeye on May 19, 2005, at 13:45:51
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> Ok. that makes me relieved. I worry that I project lot of inconsistent picture of myself.
>
**** funny, but if you WEREN'T inconsistent, you'd be considered "shallow" or "self-centered"... tee hee
>
> Maybe I should give an explanation. In the past 10 years, my dad has changed quite a bit. Ever since I got my rheumatoid arthritis. He has mellowed down a whole lot more. So now I don't really fear him that much. Plus he is dependant on me now, and I am not dependant on him anymore. So there is no fear that much. And I know they love me and they know I love them, so that makes things a lot easier for me.
> >
*****If you were as weak as you say you are, you wouldn't be less afraid of him and his opinion of you no matter how he changed. You may be liking my posts lately, but even when my dad got older and frail, I STILL wasn't strong enough to confront him with the way he raised me...He had changed, but I had not. So you can see what I mean about our own words and actions being the only things we control....
> Yeah.. I think lot of the confusion that I have is probably more applicable for lot more woemn in general nowadays. Changing roles and responsibilities and changing world I guess.
> >
***** sometimes the "it's not fair that the men haven't had to change, too" gets to me, I must admit...> Maybe that is the approach that I should also take. But it is hard to know when to give in and when to not.
> >
*****if what you are giving in to goes against you're own core values, it is never right. That's what compromise is for...each person "giving in a little" in order to preserve an integral sense of self for each person in any relationship.
> >
> > > I have been doing a lot of rethinking and redefining. It is not enough, but I think I am on the right track atleast.
> >
*****The US Bill of Rights tells us that we (humans) are all entitled to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"... yes, you are on the right track!!!
poster:sunny10
thread:497794
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/499951.html