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Re: Do any of you block your T or ex T out? » Tamar

Posted by pinkeye on May 15, 2005, at 16:58:10

In reply to Re: Do any of you block your T or ex T out? » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on May 15, 2005, at 15:03:45

I guess so. I really want to keep the good memories..and not hurt and spoil everything. For the first time one person really went out of his way to help me. I have never really been helped as such by anyone before that. My dad brought me up and my mom and husband have helped me, but that is in a way they did it for the relationship. And friends have helped little bit, but not too much. I made my own way throughout - mostly because I qualified for stuff - education, job, coming here etc.

This Dr really went out of the way to help me. He didn't charge me anything. And I can't see any reason why he couldn't have terminated me sooner. He could have said that it was just too much for him to keep writing emails. Nobody else would have done it for me. And I kept pounding him with emails also.

I really wish I will grow out of it, and keep only pleasant thoughts.. And I want to finish off my transference, and not project stuff on to him. I don't think I will ever be a friend to him, but atleast I would like to keep in touch once in a while. Hmm.. wishing for the impossible.

I want to keep this person in good thoughts.. And I know I hurt myself too much, and it spoils it. I feel totally numb and scared and hurt - even angry. And I have no reason to be.


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