Posted by B2chica on May 9, 2005, at 17:34:54
In reply to Chica is ok with me » B2chica, posted by Shortelise on May 9, 2005, at 14:07:21
i can't even see the stupid keys to type a response. i can't stop crying now.
my T said pretty much what you all said here but i can't help this intense feeling of hate toward myself.
I'm concerned and i think my T is of my state of mind.
he asked if i feel i need to go to the hospital.
i'm so unsure. i feel a lot of hate right now, but i don't know that i'd act...??
however, the next set of stuff i need to say i just can't see myself living after i say it. so i know i should be in there when i get it out.
do i go, don';t i??
why can't i do this without staying out of the freaking hospital.i feel sooo much weaker than you here.what you wrote below...i can't tell you how it's affected me. how you can forgive me, but i can't. i just can't think anyother way. i really wish by giving up my life i could give her her's back.
thank you sweek shortE
-and all you others for the support
>> Chica, I forgive you this, if that matters. I forgive that frightened young girl who didn't have the experience, the knowledge, the understanding, or the resources to deal with what was happening. I forgive her because no one looked at her, saw her fear and said, Hey, what's wrong? I forgive her. I forgive her because she didn't feel she had a safe person to go to. I forgive you for detaching yourself from your feeling in self-preservation. What else could you do?
>
> Chica, I think you deserve to talk about this, and you deserve to understand what happened and understand the parts you played and what it meant. I don't think you deserve to be hated. I really really don't think you do.
>
> Hugs,
> ShortE
poster:B2chica
thread:494086
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/495671.html