Posted by B2chica on May 9, 2005, at 9:36:35
In reply to Re: trying to stay out of the hospital, posted by happyflower on May 7, 2005, at 18:45:21
Why is this so D@mn HARD!
i started taking the zyprexa again on friday, i think it's helping my thoughts a bit. i'm not as concrete on S. as i was on saturday. i even woke up a little refreshed this morning...but 2 hours later, i'm falling again.
why is this so dang hard. why does it have to hurt so much. i feel sick of these memories, i feel like a very 'sick' person for what i've done. was it me? was it them? these memories are so far to the top but they just won't come out and it's making me worse...so much worse.
it's such a constant emotional pain. logically i know it will end...right? but i just can't grab on to anything right now. it feels like everything is slipping through my fingers like jelly. Everything and everyone that used to help can't now.i see T tonight.
all i know is the next time he suggests the hospital...i think i'd better go. even though i can't afford it. i barely made it through this weekened.
even though i really want to give in, i think my instinct is to fight.thanks for the hugs...i really need them now.
b2c
poster:B2chica
thread:494086
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/495507.html