Posted by littleone on May 2, 2005, at 22:04:01
In reply to Rescue Fantasy, posted by daisym on April 28, 2005, at 1:27:30
Sometimes I think my whole world revolves around my rescue fantasies. I have fantasies of being rescued AND I have fantasies of rescuing my T.
Re me being rescued, this came up just the other day for me. I had had a bad spell and my T had been talking about trying to figure out what triggered it. He named some of the things that had happened around the time it kicked in and I went away and thought about it.
I realised that I didn't like a writing assignment that he gave me. It really set me off, so of course I didn't do it and totally avoided the whole subject. Then at my next session, he could tell I was feeling bad and he happened to give me a writing assignment about something else. Once again, it set me off really badly and I avoided it all again. Then at my last session, the same thing happened again, and by then I was ready to do a runner.
I hated him so much for making me do these impossible assignments. I didn't know the "right" answer. The assignments had lots of "correct" answers, but I had no way of knowing which of these "correct" answers was the "right" answer. The one he wanted.
I want him to hold my hand and walk through the exercise with me. Not to leave me alone with it. In fact, I literally wish I could just sit on the floor at his feet and cling to his leg like Linus and his blanket and have him tell me what to do and how to do it and then have him do it with me.
Then I kind of got a feeling that this was all familiar. I don't have a specific memory, but I'm pretty sure my dad would try to teach me something or talk to me about something. And he'd ask me a question where he'd want a particular answer to maybe lead the conversation somewhere. And I'd be giving him correct answers to his question, but it wouldn't be the "right" answer that he wanted. And he'd get all angry with me and things would turn bad.
So yes, it was a rescue fantasy, but it's a completely different issue underneath. Was definately worth looking closely at.
re rescuing my T, there are two parts of this for me. The first is how much he works. His workday is so so long and he has commitments on the weekends that tie him up and I stress out big time that he doesn't have enough time for his family and for himself. I wish I could fix it up for him and make him listen to me and make him ease up a bit.
But my dad was a workaholic and was tied up with sporting club commitments and didn't have time for his family and it eventually destroyed his marriage. So it's pretty obvious why this upsets me. I don't think I've even raised it with my T yet. It's too upsetting for me. I just secretly wish I could rescue him.
My second rescuing my T fantasy is different. I do a type of self defence and often dream that my T gets robbed whilst we're in session or he gets kidnapped by a bad man and I need to rescue him. And I use my self defence to disarm the bad guy and then disable him.
I talked about this with my T just the other day and he thinks it's all about the same sort of reasons that little kids dream about being superheros. Because superheros are good. They are strong. They are smart. People look up to them. People respect them. People love them. That sort of thing.
Which I kind of found a little funny considering I never once dreamt I was a superhero when I was younger. But my T made it sound like it was a normal thing. Did you guys ever dream you were superheros?
poster:littleone
thread:490680
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/492913.html