Posted by Dinah on April 28, 2005, at 19:33:34
I was thinking about that.
About how absolutely wonderful it is that Mair feels free to ask for what she needs from her therapist, and how that's a big step forward for her.
And how Cricket spoke honestly to her therapist about their relationship and how his words made her feel, and how that's a big step forward for her.
And how neither of those things would be what big steps forward for me would look like. So I started wondering what a big step forward for me would be. I think I'll ask my therapist tomorrow.
Would it be seeing him as a guy only a few years older than I am, with a life history the world would view as not as stable as mine (of course I'm pathologically stable - one job, one man), and not the font of all safety and wisdom? He is being more "real" in therapy, and maybe that's why.
Is it progress that I no longer call him a lot of the times that I want to between sessions, because I know I'll see him soon enough, and because I have internalized him enough to know what he'd say and to say it to myself. I'm sort of proud of that, but I'm not sure what he thinks. All he says is that I *can* call him if I like. But that's good management on his part. If he said "Oh, that's wonderful" it might backfire. But on the other hand, maybe he really doesn't think it's good that I don't call him when I want to.
I've told him my very last secret.
I'm dissociating less often in session, I think.
I gave him a gift for the first time. I think that was a big step forward for me because a gift is an offering of yourself, in a way, and I risked doing something so scary.
What steps forward can I make? What is a good thing for a client to do that I'm not doing? What would constitute a big step forward for me? Is there anything left? If not, isn't that sort of sad?
poster:Dinah
thread:491170
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/491170.html