Posted by Tamar on April 28, 2005, at 12:12:32
In reply to Rescue Fantasy, posted by daisym on April 28, 2005, at 1:27:30
I used to have lots of rescue fantasies about my T. In some of my fantasies my T would accompany me through future crises; in other fantasies he would intervene in the past. I was quite ashamed of (and sometimes frightened by) these fantasies and didn’t want to talk about them. In fact, I kept trying to deny them whenever they entered my head, and that denial just made things even harder for me and caused me new problems. Oh yes, and I definitely had fantasies about rescuing him too.
Eventually I realised that denying my fantasies was effectively denying all kinds of powerful feelings. Being able to fantasise, and to explore what my fantasies meant, helped me to integrate my hopes and fears with reality.
I don’t think there’s any point in trying to impose reality when you want fantasy. Allow yourself the fantasy when you need it. Later, you can think about what it all means. I think they do need to be explored, though, if you want to move forward.
Eventually these fantasies should dissipate, but probably not if they’re not allowed some expression.
It sounds as if your T is very sympathetic to your need for fantasy. I’m sure you can trust him with all your fantasies.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:490680
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/490876.html