Posted by Jadah on March 20, 2005, at 16:10:05
hi guys, its been awhile since Ive been here. Im the one that was having a sexual affair with my T. Well, Im STILL in love with my T. Believe it or not I am still seeing him for therapy. We still do things together and remain intimate, although it is no longer sexual. I think it could easily go that route again but... I come alive when Im with him. Hes all I think about. We spend a lot of time together and Im just happy to still have him in my life. He couldnt keep betraying his wife, nor could he continue to have a sexual relationship with me without feeling bad about compromising ethics in the workplace and hurting everyone, including me. I do miss making love to him, and we both often get "excited" when we see eachother but I am just enjoying being held by him, laying with him, hearing the loving things he says to me, being able to be vulnerable about my life and all that is involved in it. He is the only one I could talk to, cry in front of. He genuinely cares. He is consistant, always there when I need him, be it to talk, laugh or cry. Its wierd, he's almost kind of like my best friend. He encourages me to date and hopes I will find someone that can give me everything... he cant, not with a wife, children, and a thriving practice. We both know that. I have learned alot from him and our brief affair. He has taught me that not all men are going to treat me badly, he's given me a standard of qualities and character to look for in a person, he taught me that despite all of my past abuse, I can be intimate with a man without wanting to crawl out of my skin, I can feel safe. He helps me to see the good in myself. I know it all sounds crazy. Our relationship can withstand anything. Sex or no sex, he is filling my hole. I love him always. We worked past the hurt, anger, disappointment. Without him I would have been dead a long time ago. We are ok now. There it is, look at it any way you wish :)Nice to be back, for now anyway.
Jadah
poster:Jadah
thread:473243
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/473243.html