Posted by mair on March 10, 2005, at 21:56:39
In reply to Re: Let us know how today went, o.k.? » Dinah, posted by annierose on March 10, 2005, at 19:17:31
Geesh, I know you guys are right, and I don't think I'm fooling her at all, although she can sometimes get distracted away from things for awhile. She knows there are categories of things that I just can't talk to her about and we have tried to discuss why, but the conversations are always so excruciating because I just can't seem to force myself through this invisible threshhold. And the fact that the things I struggle with are so pedestrian makes it even worse. The longer I go, the bigger she's going to think the issue is and the more ridiculous it's going to seem to let her know how truly trivial it all is.
She thinks I have this huge fear of being mortified or feeling humiliated or embarrassed - maybe she's right, but right now I can't seem to force myself to think about what that means or why it might be true.
It's been a very long time since I walked out of her office feeling like I'd dodged a bullet because neither she nor I raised an issue I wanted to avoid. Most of the time we have a way of getting to those issues; even if she doesn't raise them, I steer our way there no matter how difficult it might be. But I think I felt ok about feeling relieved today because the things we did end up talking about seem like promising topics, even though they are also less frightening to me.
So it'll be interesting to see how long we can stay off the scarier topics.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:468762
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/469470.html