Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 23, 2005, at 14:45:48
In reply to Re: T and Valentine's Day » LittleGirlLost, posted by LG04 on February 18, 2005, at 23:36:29
> hi, it's also validating for me that you feel the same way!
I totally agree! And I apologize for taking so long to respond - been sick with the flu. :(
> and for me too, part of it is my fear that her husband will hurt her! i made her promise that he is nice and safe and nothing will happen to her!
Wow you actually did that?! Cool. I'm afraid to say anything like that to her. I think I'm embarrassed to talk about sex to begin with, but given the fact that I'm focusing on HER sex life, doesn't that seem a little weird?
> what a relief. she was great about it. she understood immediately that it's not about her, that it's transference. i asked her if she thinks differently of me now, is it awful what i feel, if we could still hug after sessions, etc., and she was as reassuring as can be. she said everything i am feeling is normal for what happened to me. that any "little girl" in my situation would feel similarly.awww that's wonderful that she handled it so well! I guess for me I wasn't sure how to relate it to transference. Actually I'm still confused.
> were you sexually abused? i was, by my father, so my fear that her husband will hurt her (i.e. my dad will hurt my mom) makes total sense.
Ugh! I've never actually admitted this yet, but I guess I was. I have very little memory, but everything else fits into place. Aha! Now that struck a chord with me.... your fear that her husband will hurt her (dad hurting mom) makes complete sense to me. So am I projecting my feelings on to her?
> and i was so emotionally starved by my mom, i desperately wanted her attention, all of it. and she was so symbiotic with me that i "learned" that people belong to each other. (my dad abusing me taught me this too). so i wanted my mom all to myself, i thought that's how relationships are. we don't share people.I'm sorry you experienced this... Not sure I can relate though. I always felt that my mother never cared about me.
> I'm interested to hear. but what i can say is that jealousy is such a sucky feeling. i really have a hard time dealing with jealousy. i am not normally a jealous kind of person. and this jealousy goes so deep, it's like a knife in my heart.I know what you mean. I'm not a jealous person either which is one of the reasons I'm even embarrassed to bring this up. For me it seems like such an ugly quality. And what an awful feeling it is.
> i think therapists are used to clients feeling jealous of their relationships with others. i bet your therapist would be fine with it.On some level I know you are right. My therapist is quite experienced and extremely knowledgeable. I think it's more my embarrassment and fear of looking "bad" that gets in the way. I see her tomorrow... Maybe I can bring this up. Eeeks!
> let me know,
> LG04Thanks!! I just hope you see this post since I'm a few days late.
LGL
poster:LittleGirlLost
thread:458245
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/462310.html