Posted by daisym on February 11, 2005, at 23:45:03
In reply to Resentment, posted by fallsfall on February 11, 2005, at 10:44:37
>>>>>>But there is an anger. An anger that I shouldn't have to do other people's work for them. That if I can do it, and it isn't even my job, why can't they do it when it *is* their job? That I'm not being "paid" to do all this (but this in no way is isolated to "work" situations - so I should say I'm not being "compensated" (often emotionally - not being supported? I want to be taken care of in return for taking care of them)). Why should *I* be the one to pick up the slack? Why am *I* the only one who cares if things fall apart or not?
<<<<These are all good questions. For me the answers are usually because I'm supposed to -- it is the lot I drew in life. I can't (won't?) feel resentment in most situations because "good girls are happy to take over all the care-taking duties." *sigh* Beside, I know I *just* can do it better and faster than most people and I want them to do it my way anyway.
But I think recognizing that you have resentment and being so articulate in your expression of it is a really important step to moving away from those things causing this resentment. You are asking really good questions. I'm glad it feels so good to have named these feelings.
I guess one of the next questions is are you asking for what you need in return so the resentment goes away and things are more balanced OR are you taking care of people who aren't aware of how little they are giving back? Bluntly, are you "collecting" people who need you?
poster:daisym
thread:456244
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/456610.html