Posted by sunny10 on February 8, 2005, at 11:15:25
In reply to Losing my Protector, posted by littleone on February 7, 2005, at 15:26:21
My father had a heart attack over the weekend. He is 79 yrs old, so the prognosis is not good.
The rest of my "family"- if you can call it that- is all for keeping him alive for as long as possible via modern medicine. I firmly believe in quality of life vs quality of life; so you can see, I am conflicting with my family even on this.
I am horribly conflicted. Part of me wants to get things off of my chest before he dies because I know that when he dies I will no longer even have a choice. But I also know that he is sick and weak. And I don't believe in kicking someone when they're down.
And part of me wants to ask him what HE wants (he had had blood in his stools and, according to the doctors, two prior heart attacks that he never told anyone about); it just doesn't sound to me like he wanted modern medicine to help him. The other part of me is furious at me for even CARING what he wants.
Most of all, I wish that I had gotten through all of my anger with my dad before all of this happened, because I cannot sleep. I am so conflicted that I am just a mess.
Maybe this is why littleone's T is suggesting that she get it all out in the open. Maybe if you(littleone) can get past it now, you won't be thoroughly smashed up inside while he is dying later in life like I am.
Just my 2 cents,
Sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:451102
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050206/msgs/454961.html