Posted by Aphrodite on January 4, 2005, at 19:47:34
In reply to Absolutely disconnected, posted by Aphrodite on January 4, 2005, at 6:56:06
He called again tonight to ask if I was "really, really sure" I wasn't coming. He wanted to let me know he strongly disagreed with my decision not to come in and share what had ruptured and hurt little Aphrodite. I told him that it was childish, and that I only need time and things would heal. He was quiet for a long time and said that when I shift back into adult mode it's always very powerful and throws off his footing. I think I always make a good case about living my life here and now even if it's flawed. He said, though, that the things that hurt, even if they felt "childish" were probably at the root of all my pain. "What do you fear about my reaction?" That was a question that threw me. It dawned on me that fear was at the root of my withdrawal. I told him that I feared his anger and feared being dependent on him and needed to prove otherwise. He seemed surprised about the anger but for the fear of being dependent, his reaction seemed, "Yeah, yeah, here we go again."
I am too busy to do hard therapy work right now, but I did agree to let him call to check in. He said, "Sorry, but I must ride roughshod over the rational part of you." He said he didn't want the parts of me that needed him to completely fade away.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:437564
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/437844.html