Posted by alexandra_k on December 27, 2004, at 16:07:38
In reply to Re: Lifetime Therapy » alexandra_k, posted by Toph on December 27, 2004, at 7:15:56
> Alexandra, I identify with much of what you posted. Sure, your T has to make a living, and let's hope (s)he is professional. But what Dinah alluded to is what I struggle with, does he really care about me, would he want to sit down over coffee for 50 minutes and talk with me for free? Or his he faking interest like a prostitute fakes whatever his/her client wants? I'd like to think that unlike a prostitute who survives through disassociation, your T develops a relationship with you as you work through various issues you bring into the room. It's a little one sided but dynamic all the same. You're smart enough to recognize if (s)he isn't there with you invested in your progress. That the part I also struggle with. Is a mechanic really invested in completely fixing your car or does he want you to come back? I hope our Ts have the same goal as us, to make them obsolete.
> -TophI tutor at varsity. I am paid for the time I spend with the students. I get an office hour so they can come and talk with me and I get paid something towards email contact and phonecalls etc etc. I had a guy send me an email saying that he had been thinking about some stuff (the meaning of life etc etc) and he would really like me to read over it... I agreed. It came in the post to the department.. About 10 pages of tiny handwritten scrawl. He is a pleasant guy, achieves fairly average grades - this will take me a lot of (unpaid) time...
But I said I'd do it.
(And next time I am asked I will ask them to estimate how long it will take me)
I do care about them.
Even the ones who aren't likely to continue through.
Is he interchangable?
Well, there will be a new lot next year.
But you do remember individuals with kindness.About the coffee... Whats the bet that if you didn't meet as therapist - client he would probably enjoy that very much. But things being what they are it probably never occurs to him.
I like to think that I can tell whether they are genuinely interested or not. Some are none to subtle either... I think you can pick up on this. Their level of emotional engagement, awakeness, etc. I am sure we are to them how our responsibilities are to us much of the time: Sometimes you like them, sometimes they bore you to tears, and sometimes they just about drive you crazy. I don't think a complete pretense could go unnoticed. (People don't really care about how the pro feels about what she is doing so I guess that one is a little different there).
poster:alexandra_k
thread:432629
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/434611.html