Posted by gardenergirl on December 17, 2004, at 8:38:31
In reply to I'm not doing well, posted by daisym on December 17, 2004, at 1:47:17
> He said it doesn't look like I have much choice, but that he is ready to go back with me. He wants me to remember that I'm not alone.
Daisy, I think it is okay to back off of this for awhile. Everyone needs respite at times. But given the flood you are experiencing, I think your T may be right, it may be difficult to stop the tide until it has washed through. Perhaps this is the tsunami that will lead to a breakthrough in feeling good once it has settled? And in the meantime, please please use all the support you can. From everywhere you have it. You are strong, Daisy, but shoring up in the face of extreme weather is always wise. (I think I'm channeling partly cloudy, with these weather metaphors, (grin)).
> And I'm terrified by how honest I am being with my therapist and how demanding. (I have a separate post about this.) I am sure he is going to get sick of me and my hysterics and say, "enough!" He hasn't so far, he actually is increasing contact. But he has that worried look on his face.
Daisy, that worried look is because he cares about you, and I'm sure he can see how extremely difficult this is. He has committed to being there for you, and everything you have told us about him suggests that it would take his own tsunami to keep him from keeping that committment. And that seems highly unlikely. He seems well-skilled in taking care of himself.
He will not abandon you, no matter what you say or do.
>
> He brought back up medication today. He wants me to see a Pdoc, and he said I'd need to be honest about what we are dealing with. Not the details but at least saying that I'm doing deep work on sexual abuse. I can't see me telling anyone else about this, especially in the state I'm in. We are going to talk more about it on Monday. I'm almost desperate enough to be ready for it.I would imagine it would be very difficult to see someone else about this. I do think it's worth investigating. It's another resource to help shore you up. It may not feel as secure, because it will be a stranger, but the medication itself, if you decide to take it, can help. I know you will make a wise decision, whatever you decide.
>
> Sorry, I feel like coal in everyone's stocking.Absolutely not. You are always a beautiful, inspiring, and resilient flower to me. But I can understand feeling like a lump of coal. Those are your feelings, but not your core. Lumps of coal are really diamonds waiting to come out, you know.
(((Daisy)))
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:429684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041210/msgs/430719.html