Posted by Aphrodite on November 29, 2004, at 18:35:38
In reply to The Dance of Empathy (long), posted by Aphrodite on November 26, 2004, at 7:30:19
OK, my T didn't quite believe all this. (Wow, and I thought I had waxed eloquent!) Apparently I am afraid to be honest because I will lose the relationship. Well, I guess that's true, too. Then he said loudly and emphatically to the point it was startling, "Aphrodite! I care about you. I really, really care about you, and I'm going to get mad at you, but it doesn't mean that I don't care. One of these days, you're going to come in here and tell me off. It's OK; we'll work through it and be better for it, but you HAVE to be honest!"
He asked me what I would ask from him during this session if I had no fears about how he would react. I was dumbfounded! It has never, ever occurred to me to not worry about him, read his mood, decide if it's a good time or not. Even on the rare time I think it's OK, I'm never all the way honest. I self-edit based on what I see. It just dawned on me what a huge block it is to fear repurcussions and to fear being "too much" for him.
I have no idea what to do about that, though. It's the way I've always operated.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:420428
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/421980.html