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Re: Preverbal pain, includes possible trigger

Posted by gardenergirl on November 22, 2004, at 23:36:03

In reply to Re: Preverbal pain, includes possible trigger » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on November 21, 2004, at 14:42:04

> They won't all be like this going forward, I'm both happy and sad to tell you. :) You'll have plenty of boring sessions to look forward to as well.

Thanks for your response, Dinah. And you are right. Today's session wasn't exactly boring, but it was not very productive. I went back to being well defended and staying intellectual. By T challenged me on it. He's doing that more lately, and I know, cause I see it, too, but it kind of stings. :(
>
> Ok, this may be completely and totally off the mark for *you*, but I can tell you what sometimes happens with me. In order to deal with things I often strip away the feelings of a memory from the memory. The memory gets stored and can be recalled. But the feelings associated with it seem to go in big vats sorted by the sort of feelings. Big vats of sorrow. Big vats of rage. Etc. And if the vat gets accessed, a whole bunch of the feeling comes out. It doesn't have to be tied to any specific memory. It can just be an accumulation of the myriad insults to our nervous system that aren't uncommon.

That's a good metaphor. I think of mine as a never-running-dry well. It seems like when a large amount gets out, it seems like the level drops, but there must be this wellspring of pain that fills it up again. Yuck.
>
> I think it's a really good thing for me to tap into those vats every once in a while in a safe environment. It helps relieve the pressure.
>
> Of course, your experience may not be in any way similar to mine.

I think it's good, too. Mostly when I cry in therapy, it's like a little bit leaking out at a time. so getting a lot out was good, although draining and scary. Am I weird to think I might want to get there again?

gg

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/419167.html