Posted by LittleGirlLost on October 21, 2004, at 9:00:56
In reply to Want to ask for a hug, posted by Bent on October 20, 2004, at 14:56:34
Wow Bent! I could have written the exact same thing myself.
My previous therapist I saw for 9 years. After about a year or 2 she asked me if I wanted a hug. Having come from a family of non-huggers, it felt very akward, but I grew more comfortable with it over time. (We hugged after every session; but she always asked first.)
Now I've been seeing my new T for a year, and like you, have MANY mother issues. As much as I think I want a hug from her, the 'contact' would also frighten me. (But I DO still want a hug.) We've never talked about this; and I'm too afraid to bring it up. She is very warm, but also has rather firm boundries. I always felt contaminated and undeserving of being hugged; although my last T didn't seem to notice. But what if this new T thinks the way I do? I don't want to get my cooties on her, ya know?
I would advise you to ask her her policy on hugs. How she feels about it; has she ever hugged a client? I know it's not easy, and I know I could never do it, but maybe you could try? The worst they can say is that it's against their policy, but personally I would feel so hurt, rejected, embarrassed and stupid for even thinking such a thing and asking. I actually wish this was something I could bring up with her.
I'm sorry.... didn't mean to go on and on about me, just wanted you to know how much I could relate. Good luck with this and keep up posted on what you decide to do.
LGL
poster:LittleGirlLost
thread:405201
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041016/msgs/405411.html