Posted by DaisyM on September 20, 2004, at 22:18:18
In reply to Re: Severed attachment » DaisyM, posted by Pfinstegg on September 20, 2004, at 20:51:45
I'm sorry I sounded hopeless and that it was all muddled. I'm not very clear on what happened, why this feeling was triggered to strongly. I know intellectually that I am indeed, "just a client." Really, I do know that.
But somehow when I FELT that...it hurt tremendously. And I don't think it was anything he said but more the realization that I had worried about something that he hadn't given a second thought.
He called a little while ago and asked me if I would reconsider taking the week off. I said only if I could come in tomorrow to see if we could figure this out. I don't want to walk around wounded (more than usual) for two more days. (I know, no logic here - tomorrow or a week from now????) He said he doesn't want to wait a week to try to repair what happened. So I'm going in tomorrow afternoon. I still can't verbalize very well what happened. I know why I feel hurt and I recognize what the hurt is. I just don't know why I reacted this way to whatever he said.
I talked to GG, Dinah and Falls in Open. GG thinks something was triggered in the phrasing. This is entirely possible. It might also be that the adult was entirely too honest about her fears and this is the panic response. I keep trying to journal it out.
The good thing is that I did tell him on the phone that I didn't "think" cancelling was a way to punish him or make him chase me. He said he knew that. That he could feel me curling up around the hurt and away from him. But he didn't want me to pull away and pull back inside. That in relationships people sometimes hurt each other and we will just work through it.
I just hope I can talk and not cry the whole time.
poster:DaisyM
thread:391998
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040918/msgs/393191.html