Posted by Rigby on August 22, 2004, at 12:49:02
In reply to Re: Boundary Stuff, posted by gardenergirl on August 20, 2004, at 22:46:55
GG,
Sometimes I just wonder about her. Like I feel like she's following my story like you'd follow a soap opera (and god knows my life has been a pretty major soap opera lately) and it just seems like she says she has a problem sometimes remembering stuff but she knows every freaking detail and every name and everything I've said and every tiny incident I've mentioned. It's hard to describe but I sort of wonder if therapists get more interested in the "story" and get sidetracked there vs. helping the client?
Granted, I will come in there with a bunch of stuff that's happened and it *really* is like a drama unfolding. So maybe it's my fault or something. I'm not, however, trying to entertain her either. It's my life that's unfolding or unraveling or whatever.
Maybe I wonder if she's helping me that much lately gather insights. Maybe it's that answers are so hard to come by and I expect her to give me some or help me to guide me to some and lately I've not seen that.
Thanks for listening and for your response. And yeah, the visual of your therapist in the shower, assuming he's not exactly your type, is, well, a tad off-putting!!
> My thoughts are mixed on this. I think asking the last name might be going a little too far. It seems like it made you uncomfortable, and that, like others said, is a sign to pay attention to. I suppose there are times, though that I have been curious, and perhaps it just got the best of her?
>
> Regarding her saying she thinks about you outside of therapy...I don't know if I would tell a client that. But, I do think of clients outside of therapy. It's hard not to, when you love what you do and are stimulated by it. Also if you are still learning, which I think a good T is always doing. That said, I don't think I would frame it like she did. If I had a specific thought I wanted to share with the client, I might say something like "I got to thinking about you and ....". To keep it more focused and specific.
>
> Now, I just have to share an experience I had with my advisor at school that your post reminded me of and perhaps speaks to the dangers of sharing outside life with clients. My advisor told me once when we were having some boundary issues ourselves that he does a lot of his best thinking while in the shower. He then proceeded to tell me an insight he had about our working relationship and recent problems. OMG! He was thinking of me while he was in the shower! was all I could think. Ewwww, the visual image!
>
> Take care,
> gg
poster:Rigby
thread:379952
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/380840.html