Posted by shrinking violet on August 19, 2004, at 19:44:48
In reply to Are relationships with T's real, or not?, posted by shrinking violet on August 14, 2004, at 12:49:07
Well, I won't go into too much detail here since last session really sucked (longish story) and we didn't get to talk too much about our relationship. She did say that she views it as: "genuine, caring, and real" (that's verbatim).
Although I think she meant that it's genuine, caring and real in the frame of the therapy, which is fine, I guess but.....I get confused because somehow it seems like she's talking beyond that, even though I know she probably couldn't be. I think I"m going to talk a bit about this more next session because I've written down a bunch of stuff that I've been withholding for various reasons (which I know is getting in the way and adds to my defensiveness, which makes her think I'm angry at her and /or being there (even though I'm usually not) and she tends to react to it (she acts like it bothers her personally somehow, but I don't know, I could be reading more into it than is there. I just think that sometimes, for a T, she reacts to things too much and in a way that doesn't seem like it's totally therapeutic).
She also asked me something I didn't think was quite fair:T: Would I be someone you could see as having as a friend?
Me: (speechless for a second)
T: Well, maybe that isn't a fair question....NO, that WASN'T AT ALL a fair question. How could she ask me that, knowing it probably could never happen, and knowing how close I am to her and that I'm going to lose her in a few months? I managed to say that I didn't think friend was the right word (I don't really envision us as ever being friends in the traditional sense.....more of a mentor/mentee thing, maybe, but it's hard to define), and before I could finish the thought, she said, "But you could see me fitting in your life in some way," and I said yes.
I don't know, it just bothered me that she asked that. I don't know if she was curious, or if she was trying to boost her ego a little, or what, but....it just felt like she was pouring salt into the wound. :(
Thanks to those who responded, I appreciate your input.
poster:shrinking violet
thread:377579
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/379633.html