Posted by fallsfall on July 31, 2004, at 8:26:20
In reply to Re: Ugh.. group-free backlash » fallsfall, posted by tabitha on July 31, 2004, at 2:07:54
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lecture (though re-reading my post I certainly did lecture). I certainly didn't mean to suggest that you are clueless about the reasons behind these things. You are intellegent and insightful.
I think I just wanted to remind you of the arguments for staying, and also to provide the rest of the board with some information about how groups work.
That said, my tone was out of line. My only excuse is that I'm having a really hard time with my therapist on vacation. I wasn't trying to chastise you - just to ask you to consider the group's needs - and whether this could be one of those times when you have to go through the intense pain to make the gain.
I spent some time in an aggressive group when I was fragile. I quit - against their advice and my group therapist's advice. My individual therapist (I found out years later) had no clue what was going on in group - I wasn't trying to hide it from her, but clearly I wasn't explaining it well either. I went from that group into DBT - my "reason" for leaving the group was that I wanted to have the time/money for DBT. But the group was intolerable for me. What would have happened if I stuck around and fought for myself in the group? I don't know. The therapist said almost nothing in the group, so I felt like I had no advocate (I know that you feel that way too - and almost to the point where you feel that she is adversarial). Looking back, I think that leaving that group was the right thing for me to do. It would be interesting to be in that group now, to see whether I am stronger now.
I have seen, over and over again, times when you have been in great pain in therapy, but when the dust settles you have learned a lot - and you have been glad that you stuck it out. You have courage and perseverance - and they have paid off for you. I don't know if this is one of those times, too. It may not be - it may be time for you to leave (just like it was time for me to leave that group).
Please understand that I'm not unsympathetic to your pain. And I wish for you a happy and painfree life. I will respect whatever decision you make.
Friends?
Falls.
poster:fallsfall
thread:371475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372590.html