Posted by tabitha on July 30, 2004, at 14:20:03
In reply to Re: Group-Free Tuesday!, posted by JenStar on July 28, 2004, at 20:23:36
I think my T threatened me. She wants me to do the 6 termination sessions with the group. That's part of the contract-- you're supposed to give 6-week notice if you quit. I figure she'll charge me for them whether I show up or not. I said it would be worth that much money to me to not have to go.
As I was leaving, she said it's important to our relationship for me to do the termination sessions. So, is she like threatening to not be my therapist anymore if I don't do them? What else can she do, besides charge me, which I assume she'll do.
This really hurts. It seems she's choosing the group's needs and/or her needs over my well-being. Six weeks is a long time. I can't imagine dragging out the torture for six weeks, plus having to hear whatever they'll say to me from this point.
The last session with her was pretty bad. I actually thought she would be happy that I'd gotten clarity about the group, and felt so much better from not going. Not at all. She said well you have to take care of yourself, but not in an I'm happy for you tone at all. More an I'm disappointed in you tone. Then the whole session we mostly argued. I argued about the last session, where the woman really attacked me harshly, and she argued about the prior sessions, where it was less of an attack, but I still felt bad from it. It felt pointless. I just felt misunderstood, and it felt as if she's treating me like I'm totally unreasonable and nutty.
I just keep saying it's not good for me to be in a group where I get that much criticism. I agree that it would be nice if I was not so sensitive and had boundaries to protect me, but I don't right now. I tried her suggestions of how to talk to myself about it and it didn't help much. I'm still spending all my time obsessing and feeling bad about it, and feeling dread of the next session. It's just not good for my life right now. It's really dragged me down. I don't see why that's hard to grasp, or unacceptable or something. I just can't imagine dragging it out for 6 more weeks.
Although of course if she's going to pressure me like this, then the pain still goes on. I just didn't think she'd do this. I can't see how to make it stop except quit therapy, then it will be a different pain, but maybe it will end sooner.
I can't endure 6 more group sessions just to please her. That would feel sooooo wrong. Plus I don't think it would please her anyway, because even if I force myself to go, I can't force myself to feel differently about it, and participate the way she'd want me to.
This is just so awful. It's hard to even believe it's happening. I've been with this T for something like 12 years.
poster:tabitha
thread:371475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372403.html